On Wednesday a child psych turned up at my son's school- COMPLETELY UNANNOUNCED. The Headmaster was out for the day.. The school secretary and his teacher didn't know what to do, so let her in. She dragged my son out of lessons for most of the day.
My son then came to contact and announced, 'some lady is coming to talk to you and watch us'. We looked at the contact/social worker (the only one we trust) and she said, I have no knowledge of this- what is going on? I will ring the office. They said they had no knowledge either.
This woman breezes in half way through contact and my son said 'that's the lady who made me take tests all day'. We tried to ignore her BUT she was very demanding- I want a strong black coffee- I am hungry and I want chocolate NOW. We tried everything to behave normally and be polite. Then, suddenly 5 minutes before the end of contact, she announced she would be following my husband and I home 'for a chat'. We felt backed into a corner and agreed.
We got home and I said, sorry it is a bit messy, but we haven't been home much. (In truth, the house was very very clean except the Sunday Times was on the floor in the lounge and we hadn't hoovered the lounge and dining room for about 3 days) She said, 'oh, I did this on purpose- to really see your standards of hygiene'. To say that internally I was going ballistic would be an understatement.
She then informed us that she had been engaged by the Guardian. She said she had spent 5 hours psychometrically testing my son. Every third sentence out of her mouth was 'Well, I don't want to be judgemental....BUT....' followed by her opinion of the 'right way to do things'. She also informed us she had then given the teaching assistant and class teacher a 30 minute lecture/lesson on how to be a 'teacher'. –THIS IS IMPORTANT- SEE BELOW She then told us the following:
*our son has a 'significantly above average IQ’- which she followed up by saying, ‘which is not a surprise as Dad has been assessed as ‘slightly above average’ (actually in the high 120’s) and mother is classed as a genius’ (embarrassment- yes that is true)
*his verbal skills are that expected of a 13 year old- he is 8. She said his reading skills are of an 11 year old BUT his comprehension levels of what he reads is at about aged 10/11.
*His mathematical IQ is genius level (which my husband said- I think you will find that is true of all three of our children- because my wife is a mathematical genius)
*She said his spelling skills were of a 7 year old and she found this deplorable. She said, his being left handed is not a suitable excuse. She said that she found him to have considerably poor eye-hand co-ordination for his age. When we said, well, we have purchased special left handed pencils/pens for him, Social Services have stopped us giving them to him. Her response: ‘That is you just making excuses.’
*She said that his school performance showed he was under performing for his intelligence level ever since nursery. She claimed that a reason for academic under performance was ‘poor emotional security’. I asked her to define this and provide concrete examples- she refused.
*She also claimed my son has poor ‘deductive logic skills’ inspite of his IQ. I said, he is 8. Especially for a boy, I am just grateful that he remembers what he had for lunch!’. She did not like that.
*After 1.5 hours of her lecturing, she said she had to go as my smoking and our cats were giving her an asthma attack. I stated, well, if you had stated that when you walked into my home, we would have put the cats outside and I would not have smoked in my own home in your presence. Her response? ‘Well, I shouldn’t have had to say something- that is just evidence of your being an inconsiderate person and your behaviour to others-which you need to grow up and take responsibility for’. ????????
*Before she left, she launched a viscous attack on me in terms of my personality and character. She claimed it was based on the SS file about me. I am not normally an emotional person, but her attack cut me to the quick and I was sobbing. We tried to tell her that the SS files are not accurate and she refused to listen to us when we tried to show her documents of apology from the LA for their holding inaccurate info about both of us- me in particular- and that the Ombudsman was investigating alot of complaints against the LA. She refused to listen and stated ‘the LA are ALWAYS right’. My husband- bless him- was SO restraint. It was clear that he wanted to physically throw her out of the house but instead just said, ‘Listen! You have no idea the living hell my wife has had for the last 12 years- caused by her ex husband and me! She has handled every piece of s**t thrown at her with dignity, being a contributing member of society and raising 3 children- how dare you treat her this way.’ She was very dismissive of him ‘oh, so the concerns of the LA seem to be to the two of you unfounded-see they are right- you are difficult people.’
* On Thursday we rang the Headmaster- we already had a pre arranged telephone chat with him booked. I mentioned this child psych. He said- ‘yes – I heard about her this morning and thought I was going to have a staff revolt on my hands- she has really upset people around here. I will be contacting my legal team to see if I can make a formal complaint against her.’
*She then turned up at my parents home- again unannounced- to give my parents her 6 hours of psychometric testing. My parents and ourselves are frantically trying to get our son out of foster care and placed with my parents temporarily until the case is resolved- so they went along with it.
Every concern that ourselves, my parents, the Headmaster and even the contacts/SS have about her can be found here:http://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed2235
Note that this case is actually almost the opposite end of the spectrum to ours but the complaints are the same: setting herself up as judge and jury, completely up her own rear about how great she is, going outside her remit/instructions, etc.
As Easter is approaching and all solicitors are on holiday for two weeks, what can I do? She has now decided that on Monday she wishes to observe my son and I alone and then interview me again for another 2 hours straight afterwards.